Friday, October 10, 2008

Secret Comes Out in Palin Ethics Investigation?

Sources report that Sarah Palin's ethics investigation regarding her conduct in the dismissal of former public safety commissioner Walter Monegan is all for naught. Palin was reported to have removed Monegan for his failure to fire Trooper Mike Wooten, Gov. Palin's former brother-in-law for numerous infractions, including fraud and using a taser on his step-son.

Recently, however, it was discovered that Wooten has recently resurfaced after a mysterious moose-hunting accident. He now resides in New York City, and works for the NYPD. He has achieved the rank of detective, and is renowned for his insight into the criminal mind. His colleagues claim that Wooten, who now goes by the name Matt Parkman, is such a great partner that "it seems as though he's reading your mind, and projecting his thoughts inside your head." Wooten appears to have forsaken his times to the Palin family, and shows no signs of the injury that prompted the intial fraud accusations. He does appear to have lost some weight and received some type of hair transplant or regrowth. When asked about his resurgent hairline, Wooten cryptically answered, "Save the cheerleader, save the hair..."