Thursday, May 17, 2012

Melody of Love

Without going into great detail, the Fall/Winter of 1996 was one of the roughest times I experienced in my life. I was dealing with a mess of issues (many, even most, of them of my own making). One day while I was driving, I started playing a mixtape I had just purchased. Nothing extraordinary, until a track began with words that struck a nerve:

I always
Stayed away from love
Afraid of what might
Might happen
Till I thought
I heard a sound above
Singing through my very
Own heart
Was a melody
I never heard
Like birds singing loud
To the sky

Suddenly, chord progressions I had heard a hundred times or more, but this time they were different.

Never dreamed that
True love would help me
Find my way
Didn't know how deep I'd fallen
Until you rescued, rescued me

Something inside of me just broke. All of the expectations I placed on myself and everyone else were revealed as nonsense, and I felt absolutely helpless, powerless, and clueless.

Strings began
I heard the melody again and again
The sound of music
Flowing through my head
So rare
I'm walking on air

At that moment, I felt something different than I had ever felt before. I felt aware of everything I had ever done wrong and thought wrong. And I felt loved anyway. I experienced Grace.

Melody of love
Sing that song for me yeah
I want to hear somebody sing
Melody of love
Oh take me away

Today, we lost the voice that sang that song. The voice that spoke to me. The voice that make my life tolerable, and gradually better. Today, she leads a different choir.

Lest you ever doubt, God Is A DJ. And God spins Donna Summer.